I admit that I am somewhat obsessed with work, but once in awhile, it’s just about a boy. Simple. Easy. Charming. Sweet. A can’t-believe-how-amazing-I-am-boy. Do you know this boy? Can you find him for me and bring him here?

Because when he’s here, he tells me I’m amazing and tells me he loves me. (Though I know it can’t possibly be true. I try to tell him so, but he is kind of a silly boy.) When he’s here, he reaches out to me and pulls me in. And all at once I feel safe and solid. But also faint and light, like I could float away. Then as quickly as he appeared, he is gone again. Still, for days, my head swims and my breath catches. My fingers tingle and my eyes can’t focus.

For a time, work doesn’t matter. I almost forget my compulsion to feel accomplished and successful. (Almost.) Because now I’m amazing. And just because a boy looked at me and couldn’t stop looking and couldn’t help but to reach out and pull me in. Though there were so many reasons not to.

Could it be that after all and in the end, it’s just about a boy? And not just about me?

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